SUSSIES: Pay it forward...

Pay Sussies Forward

I love getting "sussies"! What is a "sussie" you ask? A "sussie" is an unexpected gift....a surprise....a special little treat!

So here's the rules:

I will send a hand made gift to the first three people who leave a comment on this post requesting to join the "pay it forward" exchange. All the gifts will be made and sent out sometime soon within the year. How exciting to not know when your surprise package will arrive! What you need to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PROMISE TO POST THIS SAME 'PAY IT FORWARD' MESSAGE ON YOUR BLOG (your blog must be active in order to play). YOU WILL PAY IT FORWARD TO THE FIRST THREE PEOPLE WHO COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG.

I really hope 3 of you comment because I am in a crafty mood and I have some good gifts in mind! Some of you may be thinking that you can't get in on it because you aren't "crafty" enough. If you really want in on it but don't find yourself crafty enough, I am sure it would be okay to support someone you know that has a handmade crafty kind of business. Buy a gift from them. Got it?

So hurry and be one of the top 3 so you can get a "sussie"!!!

CHRIS EMAILED TONIGHT!!!

After 5 days with absolutely no word from Chris, I finally received an email from him tonight and I'm SO relieved. He said that internet is hard to come by there and he probably won't be able to write again. He also mentioned that there was a line of people waiting to use the computer behind him. But I'm completely clinging to his sweet words. He misses us and loves us so much and he said he has so much to tell me about! I can not wait to hear what he's experiencing and how his heart may be molded by this trip.

Please continue to pray for his safety, his health and that the children's lives would be touched in a positive way by our God. I so hope that he has the opportunity to create meaningful connections with these kids and that they would find a hope and promise that they can hold on to and that can give them something to live for outside of the orphanage.

Madeline, Hannah and I are doing very well. We've had a great time with each other and we were so blessed to have Nana (Chris' mom) here with us for a few days. Nana went home today and that was sort of emotional for me. She was sweet to stay up with me and let me talk her ear off at night like I'd normally do with Chris. Tonight I'm feeling the absence again but it's ok. The girls and I are are going to Eureka (my hometown) in a few days and we have a lot of packing and planning to do. We are looking forward to spending time with my mom's family, reuniting with many of them that we haven't seen in years, and spending special time with my mom's best friend Diana.

Thanks again for following us on this journey. I'll update the blog if I hear anything new from Chris. Love you all!

Music

I added a playlist to my blog the other night!! Probably will change the songs from time to time, but for a while I will keep them to go with this post. If you have a sec, please take the time to listen and be sure to hear the lyrics. I love music, I love lyrics and I love songs that speak my heart. The first three songs (If you want me to, There will be a Day and Give me Your eyes) have been really precious to me this year. The last one (Warm Whispers) is just hot!




Ginny Owens
"If You want me to"








Jeremy Camp
"There will be a day"








Brandon Heath
"Give me Your eyes"








Missy Higgins
"Warm Whispers"





I try not to be pushy about my faith. I am close to many, many people who don't share my spiritual beliefs and who don't have a relationship with my Savior. I truly respect everyone's right to make their own decisions and have their own beliefs. In all honesty, I do hope that my loved ones will one day enter into a relationship with God- not because I'm some righteous, bible thumping, religious zealot of a christian, but because I know how amazing He is and I want everyone to experience what I've experienced in growing to know Him. However, I do not believe that it's my job to "convince" anyone to believe what I believe. This post is not about convincing or making an argument for God. This is just me, revealing a bit of my heart :)

In the past, my relationship with God was like one separate compartment of my life...wrapped up in a pretty package for Sunday mornings, occasionally Wednesday nights and some random times of worship while driving alone in my car. I showed this package to those who seemed interested and hid it from those who might have negative thoughts about me because of it. Then I went through a several year period of bitterness - I think I still looked happy and peaceful on the surface but, underneath, I was far from the One I used to trust. I believed that He didn't care about me or my desires and that He was no longer answering my prayers. Looking back, I don't like the person I was during those years. I wonder how much of that struggle was evident in the way others saw me and how much of it I kept hidden behind a mask of "joy"...

In the last 3-4 years, God has slowly, gently, been restoring my faith in Him. He started with a rather unemotional area of my life - finances - and drew me in to talk to Him, trust Him and submit to Him. He is a WISE God :) Through our financial journey, the births of my daughters and several events of grief, He's been developing in me a steadfast faith that is no longer shaken when life seems to be unfair, hurts seem unbearable and the future is unclear. He's given me glimpses of a much broader perspective of life. He is Lovely! I DO NOT mean to sound like I've "arrived" - actually I'm such a baby in all of this. But the cool thing is that my growth, knowledge and hope are not reliant on my actions or my character - as I rest in Him, learn about Him and look for His movement in my life, He shapes and molds me into a bit more of the one He created me to be.

I normally do not use my blog as a forum for spouting spiritual talk. But I want you to know me, to know my heart, and to know that if I post God Stuff I am not intending to be preachy. The simple truth is: my God is no longer wrapped up in a package that I bring out at convenient/appropriate moments. He is the thread, intricately woven through my every experience. And if I can reveal even a tiny bit of the amazingness of Him by telling what I see happening in and around me, I will be so honored.

So if you want to know a bit more about my heart and about my passions at this time in my life, listen to these songs. If you're still with me, still reading this post, thank you for hearing my heart. Know that I love you...

Jen

Leaving on a jet plane...

We dropped Chris off at the airport this morning. Such a sweet send off...the girls behaved beautifully and we were able to share lots of hugs and kisses. Today has been filled with tears and laughter from me ... often at the same time. I'm so excited for Chris and all that he'll experience on this trip. But I miss him like crazy already. They are leaving the Atlanta airport, heading to Moscow, in about 45 mins and I probably won't get to speak with him again until he's back in the states a week from Monday. My heart aches because he is my best friend, we normally talk multiple times per day on the phone, and I don't really know how to do life without him anymore. BUT I don't want to be all melodramatic. We have a dear family friend who is facing the rest of her life without her husband. I know I'm only getting a small glimpse of the grief she is experiencing, and most likely my husband will return to me. I hope that the sadness I feel makes me better able to pray for her.



Hannah is handling this in stride so far. I wonder if she'll realize in a day or a few days that she misses him. When we got to walmart this morning, after dropping him off, she made us laugh by calling out "Daddy, where are you?" and acting like she was playing hide and seek for him.

Madeline was laughing at me earlier. When I sat down to eat lunch with the girls, the tears were flowing from my eyes. She said "why are you crying mommy" and I said "because I miss your daddy". Her response was "I miss him too, but look at me, do you see me crying?" Cracked me up!!



When I took Madeline to bed for nap time, we read a book called "The Way I Feel".

Once we read the sad page, her tears started flowing and then, of course, mine started up again. We both cried together for a while and she told me that she misses him. When we were trying to think of a song to sing together for nap time, I suggested "I'll fly away" (a song we've sung to Madeline since she was an infant). And we started giggling about how Daddy is flying away. We changed the words to include references to russia instead of Heaven. I also suggested "leaving on a jet plane" and it turns out that he sang that to her last night at bed time so she taught me the new words ... I'm leaving on a jet plane, I know when I'll be back again. I love that man!

Yur'yev Polskiy

Many of you know that Chris has been planning for several months to take a trip to Yur'yev Polskiy, Russia. We are counting down the days!! He and a team of 5 of our church friends will be gone for 10 days. They will travel to Moscow and then take a bus about 5 hours northeast of Moscow to Yuryev Polskiy. They will stay in a hotel and spend their days conducting a day came at an orphanage in this small agricultural town.

Our church has sent a team of people to this same orphanage for 8 years and Chris has always been drawn to the trip. He is looking forward to the experience. The Yuryev Polskiy Orphanage is home to children ages 6 to 16. The orphans in Russia face a future with no hope. Many of the children are social orphans and were placed in the institution because their parents could no longer provide for them. Statistics show that 70% of the children leaving the Russian orphanage system at age 16 turn to drugs, prostitution or suicide. Working with Russian translators, Chris and our friends will be teaching the children skills for independant living. In addition, they will share the Word of God which gives them a hope for the future and they will teach them about their Heavenly Father who wants to adopt them into His family.

I want to share with you an amazing story about God's provision. The cost of this trip is about $2500 and in addition to that, we were looking at 10 days without Chris' income. On top of that, in Dec and Jan, we incurred about $2000 worth of medical bills (see post below to catch up on that). We had been praying about the finances because we definitely didn't have that much money to spare! In a very very short amount of time, the church received money in Chris' name to help fund the trip and THE ENTIRE TRIP HAS BEEN PAID FOR! In fact, the church received more than they needed to fund Chris' trip so they are using the excess to buy supplies and necessities for the children in the orphanage. AND we've received a great amount of money from friends and loved ones who wanted to be sure that the girls have what they need during Chris' absence. We are absolutely blown away by the generosity of others and the great provision has confirmed to us that we are walking in the will of the God we love :) We are so excited to see what will come of this trip! Thank you so much for your prayers and financial donations. We still haven't received a list of people who gave toward this trip so we're going to be quite a while on getting thank you notes out but we want you to know that we are so so so very grateful!


Here are some pictures of Yur'yev Polskiy (also spelled yuriev polski) that I found on line. Chris has been watching the weather for the last couple of months. Basically, yur'yev polskiy has seen snow every day for months and the temperatures haven't risen above freezing. This week, the warmest forecasted day is Saturday, with a high temp of 35 degrees!

Madeline's 5th Birthday!!!

Well we officially have a FIVE year old daughter. I'm sorry but I'm still choking on those words. Five is just such a HUGE milestone in my mind. And the time truly has gone by in the blink of an eye.

Here are some things we love about our oldest daughter:
1) She is very silly. She loves making funny faces, using funny voices and doing funny dances.
2) She is tender toward people, especially her little sis Hannah.
3) She has a very strong sense of right and wrong and she demonstrates responsibility in making sure that everyone (including herself) is doing what is right.
4) She has a phenomenal memory, which is a quality especially admired by her mom!
5) She LOVES doing homework. She will beg for homework sheets and doesn't seem to tire of learning.
6) She is attentive and can focus on tasks for a very long time.
7) She is a great communicator. She has a large vocabulary and she enjoys asking what new words mean. You can bet she'll use new words appropriately after learning about them.
8) She loves God and believes that He'll "never let go" - the lyrics of one of her favorite songs.
9) She enjoys thinking of friends and loved ones to pray for.
10)She is physically affectionate. She still loves to climb up in our laps, play with our hair, hold hands and wrestle around, just to be touching.

11) I (Jen) have called Madeline "mussie" since she was a little baby. The nickname came from the word Mimi used to say when she gave Chrissy and I kisses. Madeline is my little kiss :)

We could go on and on...

Here are some pics of Madeline growing up:

Newborn

1 Month old

1 year old

2 years old

3 years old

Proud Big Sister!! 3 1/2 years old

One of mom's favorite pics - 3 1/2 years old

4 years old

5 years old - sporting her style Madeline wanted a bowling party this year for her birthday celebration (not that you could tell from these pics - somehow we didn't get a single shot of any of the kids bowling!). We took our families and 3 families of friends to a local bowling alley. Madeline and I made cupcakes for her friends. Poor Hannah came down with a fever on the way to the party so she spent most of the party sleeping on Nana's lap. We were pleased to party with Papa, Nana and Dean, Manda and Cody, Becca, the Clarks (Eric, Michelle, Zach and Laney), the Neals (Preston, Megan, Vadin and Tolbyn) and the Feighners (Erik and Brooke...Jennifer and Camryn needed to be home for nap time). We missed Aunt Chrissy but will be sure to celebrate with her soon!!

Madeline, sweety, you are dearly loved. You have shaped our family in such a special way and we thank God for you daily. We love seeing the young lady you're becoming and we look forward to experiencing life with you in the coming years.

Love, Mom and Dad

I'm 8 inches lighter...

I'm going to tell the end of this story first, then go back to the beginning. So let me start by saying, I don't have cancer! Beginning in December 2008, I went through 2 months of testing to determine whether I might have breast cancer. I had a mammogram, 2 ultrasounds and an MRI and finally in late January a doctor decided that what I had been feeling is an inflamed and out of place lymph node.

Those two months were emotionally and spiritually trying. I was facing the possibility of having the disease that took my mom's life and the anniversary of her death was in January. At the same time, we were dealing with many other sadnesses - my sweet Uncle Ralph's heart concerns, our dear friend Alex's declining health, the death of Chris' uncle Robert. Add to that some financial strain and the added cost of all of the tests! Without the relationship that I have with my Creator, I would have been a basket case. But I was so blessed to be able to pour out my heart to Him and I was able to see Him working in and around me in ways that confirmed that I wasn't alone. Chris was a tremendous support. We prayed together often and he was able to be at peace through it all as well. We kept the testing a secret for two reasons - 1) I thought that if I did end up having cancer, there would be plenty of time to discuss it with loved ones, and 2) our families have dealt with cancer for far too long and we didn't want anyone to move into a place of unncessary worry. A few of the tests that they did were in a Breast Center. The pillars in the parking garage were painted pink. there was Susan Komen merchandise in the office and pink ribbons were everyone. I felt such a burden to pray for every woman in the waiting room. There is such a strength and resolve in these women - something I truly admired in my mom during the 4 years she fought the disease. I decided then that if I had cancer and was going to face chemo anyway, I'd go ahead and donate my hair (which was ridiculously long) to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. This is an organization that creates wigs for women who are facing cancer and don't have the money to buy a wig.

Well, I found out the lump was not cancerous and I was faced with the decision of whether or not to donate my hair...took me a while to finally decide. I believe that God prepares us for events that are going to take place in our future...one of the things that helped me decide to do it was my sweet sister. We usually give each other Pink Ribbon merchandise for birthdays and Christmases. This year, Chrissy gave me a pink ribbon Chi for Christmas ( I love my Chi from my Chee! ) The Chi is super skinny - great for short hair styles. This week I decided to go for it!! I went to a new stylist on Friday and had her chop off 8-9 inches!! I think I need to play with styling it, but it's pretty cute. And hopefully the hair I lost will be put to good use. Long story, I know - here's the big reveal...







Chris says this last picture looks like I'm holding up a squirrel! :)

I should add that 8-9 inches didn't end up being near the amount of hair I thought it would be. So if you've considered donating, don't be afraid to go in and have your stylist measure your locks to see where your hair will fall once cut and styled. Locks of Love (wigs for children) does require 10 inches so that's something to keep in mind as well.