MY DAD IS HOME WITH US!

After a long, ridiculous ordeal last night (my Dad and I sat at the hospital from 330 to 7 waiting for discharge papers to be processed) my Dad ended up staying at the hospital one more night and he was discharged TODAY!!!! What a LONG 20 days this has been (long for me, WAY longer for him). He will be staying with us for 3-4 weeks while he recovers. A home health nurse is coming to check on him and provide wound care for the infections three times per week. He's got a couple of follow up Dr appts here in town and in 3-4 weeks he will likely be released to his good old independant way of life. WOW! I'm trying to figure out a day soon, possibly tomorrow, when I can take him out to his place for the day just to feel normal again and spend a few hours with the dogs. On Sunday we'll be loading our UHaul and on Monday we're closing and moving!

Madeline is my newest little concern. Last week she was diagnosed with strep. But she kept getting worse on antibiotics so I took her to the Dr yesterday. Her Dr pricked her finger for some blood and took a urine sample, then called us back to the office to have blood drawn from her arm. She found in the first round of tests that there is billirubin in Madeline's blood and urine, which means something is going on with her liver. This doesn't automatically mean that it's something major, we just have to wait and see. We'll hopefully hear results of the blood test tomorrow. Not sure that life can get more hectic than it's been in the last few weeks!

Having my Dad home with us will be nice. I know he'd rather be at his house, but I've gotten used to seeing him at least once a day and I'm not quite ready to let him go yet. I just hope he can be comfortable with us for a while and then return to full health at his place, where he longs to be!

Thank you for praying us through this everyone. Your encouragement and care is of great worth to me!!

Update on my dad 7/20/09

We thought my dad was coming home to us today. But my dad's infections have worsened and he was running a fever this morning so the Dr decided to run some more cultures, change his IV antibiotics and keep him for a while longer. We were both really disappointed but I'm also relieved that they aren't sending him home before they have a handle on the infection. I was with him today while the nurse cleaned and changed the dressing on the infection in his incision and it looks horrible. It's an open wound nearly the size of a golf ball in diameter and it is deep. I'm praying that the cultures reveal which bacteria they are fighting and that they can find the correct antibiotics for the job.

My dad's mind is much clearer. He is no longer having hallucinations which is a HUGE relief. He is still forgetful though. Yesterday he told Chris and I that no one answers his questions and no one has told him why he's in the hospital. I explained his condition in depth and he actually had to look down at his chest to see if the incision was there. This was after 16 days of hearing a few times a day about what happened to him. He also seems to forget often that when he does discharge he'll be staying with us for a while. He plans on going home to be with his dogs and he looks pretty disappointed when I tell him about his restrictions. But with his forgetfulness, I don't feel comfortable sending him home to manage his own medication. So I'm hopeful that after a few weeks of staying with us, he'll be better able to remember his meds and handle his own nutrition.

I have THE most amazing friends. So many people have joined us in prayer and called, texted and emailed to check on us and encourage us. Two of my dear friends here in Tulsa came over on Saturday night and helped me pack up nearly every item in our house. They were a bit ruthless and I'm grateful for that (HA)! We're living on paper products in the kitchen and we've been so blessed that they took it upon themselves to organize meals for us this week so we don't have to worry with cooking dinner. Many of our friends also joined together the first week that my dad was in the hospital and they gave Chrissy and I each a $50 visa giftcard for anything we might need. I know Chrissy appreciated the money to assist with gas for driving back and forth from KC. And I was able to use the money to buy many quick meals while staying with my dad through meal times. I also was able to buy him his first requested meal from outside the hospital - Steak and Shake! Last night, two of our close friends had arranged for a sitter for their children and they chose to share their night out with us! The guys went to see Transformers 2 and us girls went to see the Proposal (which I loved!) The laughter and carefree-ness was much needed and SO very appreciated!

My family has been an amazing support as well. I'm able to talk to Irene (my mother in law) several times per week to gain perspective, share funny stories or share my sadness. She is willing to be here at a moment's notice and she took our girls to her house this weekend so we could do some packing, work and prepare to move my Dad to our house. My mom's brothers and sisters and her best friend of many many years have been amazing as well. Even though they are in St Louis, I have talked with all of them several times and been so encouraged by them. They truly care about my dad and about our well being and just knowing that they care has been a great strength for me.

So thank you to all of you!!! We'll get through this and I pray that God will be glorified in it all.

Update on my dad 7/17/09

I went to visit my Dad again today and his mind is MUCH MUCH clearer than before. He remembers vividly his hallucinations and he's able to laugh at most of them and realize that they weren't true. He wonders what Uncle Ralph thinks about the fact that my dad thought Paul Pierce was assigned to be his sitter a couple of nights this week :) He still has a few areas of confusion but nothing major anymore.

The doctor wants to continue to treat my dad's infections over the weekend and will re-evaluate for release on Monday. My Dad has a 6 week driving restriction (we've got 2 weeks down, 4 to go) so I think he'll be staying with us until he's able to drive himself, which is just fine with me! I've gotten used to seeing him every day for the past 2 weeks and am not looking too forward to the lapses between visits that we used to have. In fact, I'm going to be working on him to move closer to us, but we'll cross that bridge later.

Jen

quick pic of my pretty girls...

Hectic Lives...

Here's the latest on all fronts of our lives:

** The psych dept at St Francis finally is aware of my dad's recent mental state. They ordered labs and discovered that he has infection in one of his incisions and in an old IV site so he is being treated with antibiotics. They have also started him back on a medication that he has taken for years but hadn't had since he was checked into the hospital. They are treating the hallucinations as well. If they can get the infections cleared up and his mind back to normal, he'll be discharged. We're hoping this all happens sooner than later.

COOL STORY ABOUT MY PRAYER REQUEST THAT I COULD BE A STRONG ADVOCATE FOR MY DAD: Wednesday I went to visit my dad on a break from work, then returned to a somewhat stressful meeting. I had a few moments to myself before my next client showed up, so I closed my door and just sat down and cried. I felt completely overwhelmed because I had been with my dad Tuesday night when a psychiatrist came to check in on him and he had sounded completely lucid - he told her that was aware that he had been hallucinating and confused but that he's got it all straight now. Then as soon as she left the room, he started telling me some of the things going on in his head. His thoughts must have been terrifying and he believed them to be true events. I couldn't reach the psychiatrist to fill her in and I felt like I was failing at my "job" as an advocate. So...back to Wednesday in my office crying and crying...my friend Jennifer left me a voice mail and she wanted to share a verse with me. Here it is:

Job 16:19-21 Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend

Jennifer and I hadn't talked in days and she didn't know how I was struggling with feeling like I was the only one at that hospital who cared that my dad's mind was playing horrible tricks on him. The verse was so timely and was a complete reassurance to me that the holy spirit is the witness of all that I'm seeing, He is my advocate and He is pleading with God on my behalf as I sit here and plead on my dad's behalf with eyes that are pouring out tears to the One I trust. Oh how I love when God speaks to us in such a tangible and timely way!!!

** We are scheduled to close on our home AND the one we're purchasing on July 27th - one week from Monday!! The glitch we ran into the other night has been resolved and we're hopeful that there won't be anymore. I told some friends the other day that moving is on the bottom of my priorities right now - if we're supposed to move then God is just going to carry us right on into that house. Otherwise, we'll stay here. I could take it or leave it at this point :)

** Madeline has had a rash for 2 days and this morning it was worse. She wasn't feeling bad but we decided to take her to the Dr this morning and found out she has strep throat. How do you have strep throat and not complain of any symptoms?? She can be such an easy going child. We've got antibiotics for her so she will be on the mend soon.

** Hannah is hillarious. She is speaking in full sentences all of a sudden. The first truly long sentence I heard her say was "I need a kleenex for my booger". Isn't that endearing? :)

I've got to post some pictures soon - my blog is looking much too word-y and not nearly enough picture-y these days. Sorry if you're not much of a reader, I'll try to make it all more colorful soon.

Continuing to pray for my dad's mind and for the infections to clear...

7/14/09 Update on my dad

Aunt Jacque, thank you for calling tonight and helping me realize that I hadn't updated the blog in a while. We definitely still need prayer.

My dad was Medically ready to be discharged probably yesterday or today. But he's started having mental health concerns again. I don't want to go into detail because I want to protect his privacy, but please be in prayer for him the next few days. His mind is playing horrible tricks on him...he is hallucinating and having very paranoid thoughts. We have a suspicion of what may be happening and we've been increasingly concerned. One scary but miraculous event occurred this morning. I received a call at 6 am from his nurse stating that they "lost" my dad. He took his cell phone with him so they called it and he actually answered and told them what he could see. He was OUTSIDE of the hospital, walking around alone. He was SO exhausted that he was compliant to return to his room. It could have turned out horribly BUT the positive side is that his little stroll won him the psych eval I've been requesting.

Please pray for peace of mind for him - he's been having insomnia and right now he's unable to be reoriented to the truth of his situation.

Please pray that I can be bold in advocating for him. I'm always so concerned about being pushy or offending anyone, but I've been expressing my concerns off and on through the last 12 days and I've got to get them to listen to the seriousness of the situation.

Please also pray for the psychiatrist to have clarity and find a way to treat him so that his mind can rest easy and he can be stable to get out of the hospital.

My Dad belongs to my God and he is LOVED by my God. I am peaceful leaving my dad's mind and health in the Lord's hands - He created my dad and knows how he functions. Thank you for praying with us through this. It sure has been a wild ride!

We came across a glitch in our closing process (which is supposed to happen on July 27th - YES only 13 days away!) I'm refusing to freak out about it...we'll move if we're supposed to. But I'll keep you posted if we get stuck - Oh Becki Francy, I may be calling you again soon for some legal advice!!!

7/11/09 Update on my Dad

Today, my dad seems SO much better! He's much more coherent and able to recall a lot of details about his journey here. He actually remembers some of the dreams he was having on his day of hallucinations. His blood pressure is bordering on low - I doubt it's been like this in all of his life! His oxygen level is staying steady. He's been able to get up a few times today and the tech helped him shower and brush his teeth which really helped him feel more alive. One of the ways that I know he's feeling well is that his humor has totally returned. My dad is a feisty man and he's been on a roll lately. The other night, the nurse had to give him a shot of medication in his stomach and he threw his head back and started yelling "ow ow ow ow ow!!" Then he started laughing. She was concerned at first, then called him a turd several times and he LOVED it. He's still pretty unsteady on his feet and he gets very tired after a little bit of physical exertion. But what can you expect from someone who has been laying in a hospital bed for 8 days and had his chest split open? We are really pleased with the positive turns in his health in the past two days. Thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes!

The Dr is considering discharging him soon and there are so many details to work out. My dad was having trouble paying for his blood pressure meds (which is what led to this situation) so we've got to find some prescription assistance. We'll have to wait and see how he is physically upon discharge before we decide where he'll go. If it were up to him, he would be leaving tomorrow and returning home to be back on his land and with his dogs. I'm not ready for that! This week could prove to be a little bit crazy. I'm supposed to work 1/2 day on Monday and a full day on Tuesday and Wednesday. And I'm assuming he'll be discharged one of those days. Chrissy has been here all but one day since his surgery but she's got to return to KC tomorrow so she can work on Monday. So, everything is sort of up in the air. It sure is hard not knowing what tomorrow holds for us!

I don't remember if I posted this verse on my blog yet so I'm going to do it now (I'm too lazy to look back and see if I've already posted it :)

Isaiah 26:3 "You give perfect peace to him whose mind is steadfast because he puts his trust in you" God has granted me a steadfast trust through this entire ordeal and the peace I've felt is certainly not situational! I could have been freaking out! But I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that my Dad is meant to still be here. I am able to trust my God now, and I was able to trust Him even when I thought my Dad might be heading "home". And that is a glorious way to feel!

7/10/09 Update #2

I received a phone call from a social worker today. She wanted to start devising a plan for my dad's discharge. It seemed really soon - when he was in ICU we heard that he would be transferred to specialty and would spend about one week there. He's only been there since yesterday! We have some big decisions to make in a very short amount of time. Praying for God's guidance as we try to plan for an uncertain future.

On a really positive note, Chrissy and I spent the evening with him and he seemed much clearer. His long term memory is great. He was able to say what sports and positions he played in school, where he lived and all of the moves he's made and all sorts of other information. He still has trouble with current orientation. He forgets frequently where he is and why he's in the hospital. The nurses are working specifically on reorienting him to current events now, which is helpful. His night nurse is cute and she seems to like him a lot. She calls him "pleasantly confused". He is very smiley and cracks a lot of jokes.

We'll see where next week takes us!

7/10/09 Update on my dad

My dad is now on the 1st floor of St Francis in the cardiac nursing floor. He no longer has one on one nursing care so we've been trying to stay with him as much as possible. The hallucinations seem to have stopped but he's still disoriented. He asks over and over how he got here and what happened to him, and he asks often if Chrissy and I have the same illness he has. I think his days and nights are mixed up. I stayed with him last night and he was awake most of the night, trying to talk and trying to get out of bed (which he's not allowed to do yet). He has asked about certain people though - today he asked if Dave thought he was a goner and if he was worried about him and he asked if Aunt Jo is giving me fits yet :) No offense Aunt Jo!! He said it with a grin on his face, knowing that you'd be calling and advising me. Love you! :)

Dr Parmley came in today and explained my Dad's surgery. He said that he fixed one part of my dad's aorta, but the entire aorta is "diseased and dissected". My dad also has an anneurism in his abdomen that needs to be fixed but they'll have to do that later. Dr Parmley thinks that as long as my dad is consistent in taking his blood pressure meds, he should be fine. I have requested an appt with the social worker to talk about options for obtaining his meds ... my Dad had run out of his meds a few weeks ago and didn't have the money to buy more so that's how he ended up in this predicament.

I'm about to head home and spend some time with my family. Dad is sleepy so he should be able to rest a while and then the nurses are going to get him up and moving around.

I'm continuing to pray for the clarity of his mind and that he'll start sleeping at night again. Will keep you posted...

7/8/09 Update on my Dad

Hey everyone
I've been at work today but will take off at 4 to visit with my dad. Chris was able to sit with him this morning for a few hours. I just called the nurse and received this update:

My dad is increasingly confused/hallucinating. He was talking to my sister and I while we weren't in the room today, he insists that he's in outer space and needs to get back to earth, he pulled out one of his chest tubes today.

Dr Parmley decided to take out his other chest tubes since dad pulled out the one. They also removed the catheter.

They have a transfer order for my dad to be moved to a dept called One Specialty. I thought it was rehab but it's actually a place specifically for cardiac ICU patients where they are monitored on more portable devices and able to be more mobile. He is still unable to walk without assistance but he'll increase his strength once he's down in that dept.

I'll keep you updated as I learn more information. Thank you so much for checking in and praying. I have been encouraged that we have so much support and that my dad has survived two major events that could have been fatal for him.

7/7/09 Update on my dad

My dad's surgery was 5 days ago and he seems to be turning in the right direction!! Nights are rough because he wakes up confused and then he gets really anxious. So if you're awake in the night, take a sec to pray for his peace of mind.

Two nights ago, the nurses decided to give him a BIG dose of morphine and he slept for 8 hours or more. He hadn't slept more than 15 mins at a time prior to the morphine. After that long rest, he was finally able to come off of 100% oxygen and he's now back to using just a nasal canula to increase the oxygen in his blood. He has gotten to sit in a chair twice and he's eating real food!! Also, today they changed him from IV blood pressure medication to normal pills and his BP has actually been really low today. He got one tube removed from his neck and his Dr is considering removing the 3 tubes in his abdomen that are draining fluid from the surgery. If he can continue the good oxygen level, he'll soon move to the rehab unit.

Continued concerns:
He is still retaining a lot of fluid and his lungs are still very junky. He is able to cough some now which is a good sign. But he's still got a long way to go and his history of smoking isn't helping matters.

Financial concerns - I am trying to get permission to work out some financial issues for him prior to his release so we can relieve that stress from his life. But his mind is not clear enough yet for the hospital to allow him to sign power of attorney to me, so I'm limited in what I can do for him. So pray for clarity of mind for him and also for favor in some of these issues.

Thank you for checking in with us!! I still need to put together a birthday post for Hannah but that will happen when it happens. We are positive and encouraged that he's come through the worst of this. I know rehab will be difficult but I do think he's turned a corner and he ought to make it out of the hospital.

Sorry I haven't been great at returning phone calls yesterday and today. Juggling spending time with dad, spending time with Chris and the girls, taking care of Dad's financial affairs and work has been difficult. I returned to work today. Since Chris is self employed and I am considered a contract employee, neither of us have benefits so we can't really afford to take off for an extended period of time. But I have been fortunate to shorten my hours, and I only work 2 days per week anyway so I think it will all work out.

Love
Jen

My Dad...

Father's Day - Madeline took this picture of us with my Dad
Dad and Hannah


Dad and Madeline

My dad is Larry Robert Culis. He is 56 years old. He was married for 28 years to my mom and they loved each other dearly from the time he was 18 and she was 16. My mom died at the age of 47 after a 4 year battle with breast cancer. She's been in her eternal home now for 7 years. My dad lives alone in Jay Oklahoma, which is about 1 1/2 hours from Chris and I. He lives there with 4 dogs and he enjoys his 40 acres of land.

Today my dad is in the cardiac ICU at St Francis Hospital in Tulsa and my heart is broken for him. On Friday morning at 2 am he drove himself to the hospital in Grove Oklahoma and they admitted him. He was diagnosed with an aortic dissection (http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec03/ch035/ch035c.html) and he was flown by helicopter to St Francis. They gave him a 50% chance of survival. They took him immediately into a 5 hour surgery where they removed the dissection and repaired his valve. The surgeon was very pleased with the surgery. My dad is a STRONG man. When he was able to talk after surgery, he told me that he is very fortunate and he has a lot to live for.

My sister had a hard time reaching me to tell me about my dad's condition. We had taken a trip to Lake Eufala with some friends and I didn't have a cell phone signal out there. She enlisted Chris' mom and sisters and through their detective work and the Lord's timing, they finally found our friend's phone number. I got the call when the surgery was complete and they were about to move him to ICU. I had been pretty overstimulated at that point, so we drove home chatting with the girls but with the radio shut off. I visited with dad for a while, then went home around 11 pm to wash the Lake off of me. On the way back to the hospital that night, I remembered a song called While I'm Waiting. One line of it says "While I'm waiting, I will worship" so I decided to listen to some worship music. I turned on the radio and the end of "Awesome God" was playing. Not my favorite song but I decided that I do agree that my God is awesome so I turned it up and let the words wash over me. Lo and behold, the next song on the radio was "While I'm waiting". I cried and sang and thanked God for even such a small reassurance that He is caring for me and my concerns.

This ICU deal is not agreeing with my dad! The longer he's here, the more restless he becomes. His oxygen level is low so they have to leave a mask strapped to his head and at times they've considered putting him back on the ventilator. He's gained 22 lbs of fluid which is starting to settle in his lungs. He's not allowed to get up until his fluid has decreased and O2 stays steady. So he's frustrated. He wakes up every 5-10 minutes and wants to get up, get a drink of water, take his tubes and lines out. He wants to be free. My sweet Dad has never ever been a patient in a hospital and he's getting a major dose of hospital life now. The nurses here are great. Most of them have been very kind with him and patient to explain the situation every time he wakes up.

Madeline and Hannah have been at Irene's house since we got back from the Lake but they are coming home tonight - I miss them SO much and I think my life will feel a bit more normal when I can spend part of each day with them. We are still scheduled to close on our houses July 27th - 22 days from now. While I have no idea how this is all going to work out I still feel a peace about buying this new house. We'll have more space and will be able to have my dad there with us for a while once he's discharged.

If you're praying for my dad, here's what we need:

* We need him to SLEEP, to actually be able to relax and sleep for a solid chunk of time.

* We need the fluid to process out of his body correctly so he can drink again. He tells me a few times an hour that he's dying of thirst.

* We need his lungs to be clear so that when he's up and moving around in a few days in the rehab unit, he won't have to battle pneumonia.

Thanks for reading this super long post. I'll make the future updates shorter, just needed to bring you up to speed.

I love you Daddy!!!
Dee